Do you wish there were more hours in the day? Have you prayed for more help around the house just to get everything done before bedtime? Do you sit in your office trying to juggle meetings, soccer games and dinner plans? Although it often feels like it, you’re not alone!
Although this article is about time management for mums, learning to say NO is a difficult lesson that is important for everyone – if you’re single, married, have a houseful of kids and pets, a successful career or a part time job, or maybe you’re a stay-at-home mum. We all stress over getting everything done on time.
Sure, everything on your to-do list needs to be done sooner or later. The trick is to learn how to prioritise all these tasks into a system that suits your life, your lifestyle, and your time in order to produce positive results, reduce stress, and regain control of you.
On a daily basis we’re faced with things we could say “no” to. A co-worker who needs a favor, a boss who needs overtime, a teacher who needs three-dozen cookies tomorrow, or one of the kids has last minute game practice. Instead we just add it to our list of obligations, and fret over it once we realise we have – once again – overbooked ourselves.
Try following these simple steps and you’ll be on your way to taking your life back:
- Figure out your true priorities. Is it really your job? Are you afraid if you say no to your boss you’ll be fired? Chances are he or she will be more shocked than anything if you tell him you can’t do something; especially if you’ve always “been there” for each request, reasonable or otherwise. If taking on another project, staying late or working through lunch is really going to cause yet another problem that you need to solve, speak up.
- Make a list of everything you do for the next few days. This includes everything. For instance, a typical Monday might be: “I made breakfast, drove to work, went out at lunch to go grocery shopping, had a burger as I was driving, went to the cleaner’s on the way home, picked up toys, started dinner, put in a load of wash, talked to my mother. Wiped up some spots on the kitchen floor, drove eldest son to his friend’s place, helped daughter with her math homework, husband got home and I fed him, cleaned up the kitchen, went to pick up son from friend’s place, folded laundry and put it away, went to bed at 11:00pm with laptop, worked on company emails and started writing proposal for new project. When you see all these tasks in black and white, you’ll quickly be able to see what takes up your time, what is important, what isn’t, and plan accordingly.
- Get help around the house. Even a 4-year-old, or a tired husband, can carry clothes from the laundry room to where they belong.
- Dishes in the sink? Leave them! If you don’t have time to deal with a sink full of dishes, even if it just means putting them in the dishwasher, leave them there. Either ask someone else to do it, or leave it until you do have time.
- Do the kids need a ride somewhere and you can’t figure out how to fit that into your schedule? It’s okay to say “no”. Let them get mad. You can’t always play taxi driver.
- Has a teacher demanded cookies for a school party? Are you expected to provide volunteer hours on a regular basis? If you can’t, don’t!
- Believe it or not, your life does not need to revolve around the kids. You don’t need to fulfill each and every request for rides, favours, or special treats. And it doesn’t just apply to the kids; if your neighbour is looking for an invitation to come over for coffee, it’s okay to say “no”.
- If you don’t have time to cook dinner every night, and it’s usually up to you to do it, don’t! Sandwiches, cereal, microwave meals are all fine options. You don’t need to spend time you don’t have every night just to make a hot meal that the family probably isn’t fussed about anyway. Try planning one night a week where you deliberately have sandwiches, then you could have all that prep and cleaning time for something else.
- Do you spend time every morning making the bed(s)? What does that entail? Fancy pillows that need to be fluffed, bedspread and comforters that need to be smoothed and tucked, and sheets that need to be put back into place? Save the time, keep it simple. Making a bed should take no more than 60 seconds. And if you don’t make the bed? So what!
So much of what we do isn’t necessary, yet we beat ourselves up over it and feel guilty. Stop it right now or you’ll never have two minutes to call your own. Learn to say “no”.
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That was a great article on Time Management for Mum’s. They do need to learn how to say no and also to ask for help, be it from the kids, spouse, friends or a Lifestyle Management Service.
There is no point doing it all until we get to breaking point – then it’s too late and where would the family be then?
Do something about it now – say no and ask for help if you need it. It doesn’t mean you have failed, it means you are only human after all.