The costs of organisational conflict include staff absenteeism, attrition and litigation expenses; while low morale, productivity losses and impaired decision making are among the many hidden costs. Sometimes severe conflicts require restructuring of teams or business units.
“It is estimated that over 65% of performance problems result from strained relationships between employees – not from deficits in individual employee skills or motivation”.*
Does this ring any bells for you? When I run training sessions on this topic about 75% of people will tell me that they have either left or are thinking of leaving a job because of a difficult person or a conflict that wasn’t being addressed by their manager.
As you probably know people who are difficult to deal with absorb your time and energy. Is there someone in your workplace who you feel impacts on your ability to perform at your best and, worse, stops you from enjoying your work? Is it a colleague, subordinate, Team Leader or Manager?
How are you currently reacting to the situation? Are you just putting up with it, have you spoken to your manager or to the person involved, or have you been so frustrated you’ve retaliated?
Whilst absolute conflict resolution can take some time – depending on the situation and people involved – there are some things you can do to improve things.
The first step in finding a solution is to understand why conflict arises. Usually, conflict arises because of emotional issues, unmet needs, lack of resources, a difference in values – or a combination of all of these factors.
We all react differently to pressure and we all have different expectations in life. Sometimes we find it hard to deal with someone who has a different set of values to our own. By accepting these differences (you don’t have to like their values nor adopt them) we begin to understand them. When we stop judging or trying to change them, you have taken a huge leap into resolution.
Some other handy hints for handling these people and difficult situations are:
- Deal with emotions first (you can’t negotiate when people are yelling or crying)
- Treat the other person with dignity (this helps them to save face) – this is very important
- Listen to the points of view of others
- Focus on the issue not the person
- State your own point of view assertively
- Be aware of your use of body language and voice.
This approach does take a willingness to do something a bit different to our usual human responses and certainly requires courage and practice. However, it’s a positive way to begin to handle conflict resolution.
*Adapted from an article by Rho Sandberg
