Dale Carnegie [How to Win Friends and Influence People] said, “Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”
Not necessarily true if you’re being reprimanded or taunted (hopefully a distant high school memory for most of us) but it’s true that when you hear your name – you pay attention. In an office, I can hear my name being whispered from across the hall, down a corridor, behind a closed door – ha-ha; maybe my high school memories are not distant enough! But when I hear my name in conversation it’s fair to say, I pay more attention to what’s being said. So this is a basic, but very useful, business tool. Although how do you remember a name? And how do you ensure you won’t forget it next time you see that person? We can’t all have Anne Hathaway standing beside us whispering reminders.
Here are some tips to help you remember names:
As soon as you hear the name, repeat it! Try to repeat during the conversation at least twice and again as you’re saying goodbye. “It was a pleasure to meet you Susan.”
Ask the person how they would like their name to be pronounced – hopefully there will be a story behind it and that bit of anecdotal information can help cement the name in your memory.
Ask the person what they do in business or recreationally, i.e. Anne works as an accountant, so you can think of her as Accountant Anne, or Rick loves to surf on the weekends so in your memory he becomes Surfer Rick. It sounds stupid but it works.
You could also try making up a little rhyming title for the person but it should be noted this rhyme remains part of your internal dialogue, not everyone will appreciate their little ditty or tag; Lovely Lips Lucy, Burrow-Browed Brian, Toy Boy Roy, Juicy Jason, Scary Sarah etc.
If you still forget a name, here are a few techniques you can try:
Set-up an accomplice. I tell all my friends and associates, if I haven’t introduced you to a person within the first thirty seconds, I’ve forgotten their name so please introduce yourself.
Then I say, ‘How terribly rude of me’ and reprimand myself for not following my first four tips on name recall.
Talk to the person about things you do remember about them; where they work, who they’re dating, etc. and hopefully it will come back to you.
WARNING, this one is risky: Deliberately blurt out the wrong name and when they correct you, say ‘Oh, of course it is! I was just reading about a Simon so that name came out. I know your name is Bruce!’ Ah ha-ha…
But if all else fails [Bruce doesn't correct you by handing over the goods] honesty is the finest policy. Simply apologise and ask the person for their name again. ‘Susan, that’s right! I’m so sorry Susan’.
[Internal dialogue: Susan... if I forget her name again I'll be cruisin' for a bruisin' from Susan.]
